I’d unpacked the last of the boxes, Lucía was back at school, and the house was quiet. I remember thinking, And now? What do I do?
I think that was when it hit me how much I was missing home. While there were still boxes to unpack, I’d barely had time to think about it.
Helping Lucía feel at home
For weeks, I’d known exactly what needed doing. When you’re moving house with a neurodivergent child, there’s a lot to think about. The thing I kept coming back to was Lucía’s bedroom. I wanted to make it feel as much like her old room as I could, with the things she knows and loves around her. So much was changing at once, and I wanted her to have somewhere that felt familiar and safe.
And I think I did well. She loves her room, she likes the house, and her new school seems to be a better fit for her. She gets to spend so much of her time doing what she loves, which is performing arts. I’m really happy for her. I’d spent so much time wondering how she would settle in that it took me a while to ask myself the same question.
Missing home after the move
It took days to unpack. I felt as if I’d put my entire life into boxes, and now I had to find a place for every bit of it again. I could find a place for the mugs. What I missed was being able to text a friend and say, “Fancy meeting for a coffee this week? Or shall we go for a walk?”
I really miss those walks. We used to live close to the sea, and just seeing the water made me feel calmer. I hadn’t realised how much I counted on that until we moved. Here, even getting somewhere new can feel like a lot. I’m still quite a new driver, and some days it feels as if I’ve used up half my energy just concentrating on the roads.
I’m closer to London now, which is lovely because I have friends there. I keep thinking how nice it would be to meet up with one of them and spend an afternoon wandering around Tate Modern. And then another week goes by and I still haven’t made time for it.
I’ve also been dealing with SIBO and following a restricted diet, which has made going out for a meal a bit of a faff. There’s usually something to check before I can say yes. It’s been over six weeks since I last had a glass of wine or any other alcohol. And I must admit, I think my skin’s looking a little better lately.
Even cooking at home feels different. I miss having time to play around in the kitchen and see if an idea might turn into a recipe. I miss thinking, What would happen if I added a bit of this? I miss playing around with recipes like my sweet potato chocolate mousse. These days I feel like I blink and it’s time to get dinner on the table.
Finding a little time for myself again
One thing that’s going really well is my online Spanish teaching. I’m getting more students, and I’m proud of the business I’ve built. I love teaching, and seeing someone grow in confidence over a few lessons makes me genuinely happy.
I’ve finally found somewhere I look forward to going for Pilates, too. And I’ve found a swimming pool. Sometimes a swim is the first time in all day that I feel my shoulders relax. I think the move has made me realise how important it is to look after my mental health, too. For me, a walk by the water, a Pilates class or a swim can make a real difference to how I feel. We all have our own little things that help. If you’re wondering where to start, the NHS has a guide called Five Steps to Mental Wellbeing.
I’m beginning to notice how often I get to the evening feeling frustrated because I’ve spent the day making sure everyone else has what they need and haven’t made any time for myself. I want to give myself a bit of that time while I still have the energy to enjoy it. For a swim, an afternoon with a friend, or even half an hour in the kitchen to see if a recipe idea works.
Why I wanted to write again
I haven’t written here since before the summer. Every time I thought about coming back, I felt I ought to have a tip, some advice, or something I’d worked out that might help someone else. Most of the time I just thought, What have I got to share?
Then I sat down to write this and realised how much I’d missed it. Writing here is a bit like therapy for me. I start with moving house and somehow end up talking about the sea, Pilates and what’s for dinner. I hope you’ll let me ramble a little. Today I just wanted to have a chat and share what’s been on my mind.
I still miss my old home. I’m slowly finding my feet here. And I’m glad I made time to come back and say hello.
